Feelings, nothing more than feelings...
While a classic song about love these key words underplay the truth of the reality we live; feelings drive most people and often to their demise. Feel we do and strongly.
That's why after much thought and discussion with my partners Mega Mel and Danny Ray about the plight of Everyman's Insanity; we've created the acronym; F.E.E.L. for dealing with the varying and turbulent emotions life in a broken world brings.
F - Find it
E - Embrace it
E - Emote it
L - Let it go
In reality we can't change the world or anything else. That's God's job. We are only conduits in which God does his work. But with God's initiation we can partake in dynamic changes within ourselves. The key word here is within. The temptation for everyone is to fix people, at least everyone but themselves. As bares repeating we can't change the world or anything else and that includes other people. We can only change how we react to people. And how we react always starts with how we feel in a given situation.
External and internal forces drive us to feel; sadness, anger, rage, frustration, hurt, pain, embarrassment, joy, etc. The list goes on. And the first word in our acronym helps us to identify exactly what force is driving our feelings.
F. Find it.
As the saying goes denial is not just a river in Egypt. Usually our first reaction to feeling is either denial or a misplacement of the cause. So when we recognize a state of emotion we need to ask ourselves, "Why am I feeling this way?" It may take repeated "self talk" questions, "What is causing this?", "Who is making me feel this way?" "Why does that action upset me?", "Why am I feeling this way?" Come up with your own, do whatever it takes to peel back the onion, to find the true reason for why you are feeling the way you do.
E. Embrace it.
Once you find the one or many reasons for the emotions you are experiencing, embrace them. Shame, guilt, hurt, grief are some of the hardest to accept; but for some it's praise, responsibility, anger...whatever it is embrace it, own it, feel it. Not just at a surface level but really allow yourself to go through the emotion.
E. Emote it.
As you are finding and embracing the feelings, emote them! Write down what you are feeling, shout it out in the shower, tell a friend, cry, rant, laugh! Youtube it or blog it--you might wait a day or two to post it :)--sing it while you run or ride through the trails or streets of your city. It is critical in the processing to emote what you are feeling.
L. Let it go.
It may take many cycles through the above steps before this final step occurs, so don't rush it. But whether the emotions and feelings you're having are the highest of highs or the lowest of lows, at some point we must let them go. Life is full of feelings and feelings are a huge part of getting the most out of this wonderful journey called life. So let go of the old so you can enjoy the new.
Feelings, we all have them, they drive us and sometimes wreck us...don't run or hide, just F.E.E.L.
Mega Mel, master of the youtube, did a video on this topic over Christmas break while we were out playing disc golf, check it out.
